i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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