Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
