I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
