can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
