That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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