i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize