But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
