How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
