C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
