Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
