Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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