I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
