I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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