the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
