I wish my penis had an off switch
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know her cup size but not her name....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
