Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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