take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
