Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
