She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
