im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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