last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
