I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
