I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That accounts for only three of the penises
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
