Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
