I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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