Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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