office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
