my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
