Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
