can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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