after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
