So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
