I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
