it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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