last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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