47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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