He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
