im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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