exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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