his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
