Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
