i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
