Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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