I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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