that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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