I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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