I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
