Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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