Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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