I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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