HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
