I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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