if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
