Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
