did you get engaged???
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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