Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
