ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have already put on my inside pants.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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