you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
