sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
