this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
