Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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