just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
