what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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