Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
