Me too!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
