did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
