Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
